mrhemmar:

Where We Left Off - Hunter Hayes

Some will call it sacrifice; they’ll look at this and never see the beauty or how much it means he blood that runs inside of me. 

And the way we say goodbye is not that way that anyone would do. Like a wave out on the ocean, I will always come right back to you
Like we blinked, not a moment is gone. We’ll pick up where we left off. 

It’s like the world is draped in a camouflage and sometimes never what it seems. Everyone’s got different things they hide behind or try to be. But the things I carry with me all remind me who I am when so much of me is not with me. What matters most is what I leave behind for you to keep. 

So smile when you think of me.

dearloveofmine:

Just wanted to say you are strong person. You have come so far, don’t ever doubt yourself that you can’t do this. I know part of you deep down inside has the will to do anything you set your mind to, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I may not know you but I’m here if you ever need to vent out. Remember you’re amazing inside and out. You have a beautiful smile, I’m hoping you are smiling right now cause you need it. We are all one day closer. Stay strong and smile on.

love,

a military s/o

ps: it’s ok not to be ok. Let it out if you have to. You’ll feel so much better after. 

There is a dim red light right next to my face; I was waiting for it to switch to green. Green signals to go up and over the side of the trench and into the darkness.  Once I see the flash of green, I crawl faster than I have crawled before. Already, I can feel the wet sand rubbing against my skin and finding its way into my uniform. Once I hear the cracks of bullets flying over my head, I know it’s really begun.  I can see the tracers flying over my head and I can hear the snapping of bullets everywhere.  As I hear the whistle,  I quickly realize I am too close to the action.  BOOM!  My head rings and all I can think is to crawl faster, stay low, and to make myself one with the earth. Eventually, I make it to the end and there are no more gun shots. Once again, I ask myself, why did I ever volunteer?

After that night during the infiltration course at basic training, I really began to wonder.  Was I ready to die?   For some odd, reason being shot at changes a man’s perspective on life and death.

When we arrived, the drill sergeant gets on the bus and says, “You motherfuckers have ten seconds to get off this bus! Ten… nine… eight… seven…”  I think to myself, ‘fuck my life. What did I get myself into?’

“Double time!” screams the drill sergeant. Running now, running hard, I think that I am going to pass out. Darkness. I wake up to cold water splashing across my face.

“Get him on the stretcher! Get him over there right now!” I hear someone scream in the back ground. 

Darkness hits me again.   I wake up covered in cold, wet sheets, along with ice water that was being poured onto me. It felt like every inch on my body was burning.  I was fading again but someone kept me awake. I don’t remember who it was exactly, but I remember not being allowed to go back to sleep.  I remember when the ambulance showed up and I was getting carried over to it and put onto it.  They took my core temperature and he said something about one hundred and five degrees point something. I passed back out.  I woke up in a hospital sixteen hours later.  I was hooked up to IV’s with liters of fluids being pumped into my body. I thought about death.  I wondered how close to dying I had really come because when I think about it now, I realized there was nobody there talking to me, keeping me awake, as my comrades worked fiercely to cool down my body.  Looking back now, I wonder, was that an angel coming down to save me? Was God holding onto me when I was so close to death?  I often ponder on life and death.

We started BRM basic rifle marksmanship.  I shot better than the rest of my squad; fifteen rounds was all it took to zero in on my m-4 carbine. I was proud to be a Soldier.

I met the most wonderful girl at some club in the cities. I look at her from across the room and wonder why the most beautiful girl here is standing by herself. Did she just shut down all the other guys there or was she that unapproachable? I had said hi earlier. Did she remember my face? I was walking away when Cody says to me, “go talk to her, you dumbass. You always avoid the ones truly worth your time.”  I went and introduced myself to the most wonderful girl I have ever met and being the army is what sealed the deal for me. I was glad I volunteered.

I was digging a hole in the rain and I kept wondering why I had to be here. The ground was hard because we were digging in clay; it took six hours to dig in.  Suddenly, they told fourth platoon to fill up the holes we had dug because we are moving to a different position. Why did I volunteer?

I was being shot at again. This time, it was not supposed to happen. Some stupid shit had live rounds out in the field and he was actually shooting at me and drill sergeant Hullin in the middle of the night. To take cover, we tried to bury ourselves in the mud. What else can you do when one of your own guys is shooting at you? It isn’t like we could shoot back even if we had our own live rounds.  I have never been so scared in my life. What if one of those bullets had found me in the darkness of that rainy night?  Sometimes I wonder about life and death and what it will be like to die.  How many near death experiences can I have before it is my turn to go?

I started talking to Saranda, the amazing girl from the night out at the club. She starts telling me about how she likes hunting, fishing and being outside and I think to myself, ‘I can’t let go of this one; no matter what I do.  She is worth keeping till the day that I die.’

Qualification day for Basic Rifle Marksmanship arrives.  My weapon jammed over and over again, just double feeding the round into the chamber. I barley qualified.  After I had taken every precaution, I cleaned my weapon the best I could. Later, my drill sergeant told me that I was given a bad magazine. I hate the Army.  I wish I wouldn’t have volunteered.

I went on a date with Saranda.  We mostly talked about my time at Basic Training and she liked it, but it was bringing back some bad memories. Though, telling someone about it and having them appreciate it really made me feel like what I went through and what I did was worth the pain and the loneliness. 

We got mail today. Getting mail at basic is always the best; it makes you feel connected to the real world even though you are not.  It made being there a little bit better and I was proud to see my name with PVT in front of it and Fort Benning, GA as the address.

I got to see my dad and best friend on my thirty six hour pass and it was great. I was able to wear my dress uniform and I just felt great about myself. I was proud to show my dad that I was real solider; that I was just as good as he was back when he was in the service. It really was the best part of basic training for me. I was proud to be a soldier.

I often consider life and death; the enemy’s life and my own. We never ever called the enemy a person; they were just the enemy or some other name that degraded them to something less than human.  Does that make it all right to take their lives?  Do they have family like me, do they a have a girlfriend like me?  Is it only right because I want to go home and he wants to stop me from getting there? Or does the whole fighting for my country concept make it right?  I question that from time to time. Is the death we will deal as a Military justified just because a man in a suit says it is?  When it comes down to it, I will pull the trigger. I want to go there and then come home and that means pulling the trigger so I will get the job done.  I still think about life and death.

I am in love with my girlfriend, no doubt about it. I am thankful that I could say I was in the Military.  That is what got her to say yes.

I may have to go to Afghanistan soon. I always wonder how bad it will be or how difficult it will be… I wonder what will happen.  I wonder if men in my unit will die or if we will be lucky and all survive.  The thoughts bring up other things, too. How will I deal with school and how I would tell my girlfriend when I have to go? Or how will I get her to wait for me when I am gone? In the end, I still ponder about life and death and still wonder about whether or not it was a good or bad idea to join the Army.

I don’t want the color of my dress to clash with the color of his Class A’s. Do any of you guys have any ideas or suggestions?